CT Breast Health Initiative

Friday, April 27th: ZUMBA AWAY FOR JAY

Saturday, April 28th: PEDAL FOR A PURPOSE

Justin Gonzalez sat in the bleachers with his St. Paul teammates and watched the junior varsity game Feb. 1 at Thomaston High School. Soon they’d go to their locker room to dress for the varsity game.

St. Paul coach Steve Phelps walked toward Justin and beckoned with his right hand.

“We all believe as coaches we’re prepared for any situation, any crisis, but this one, no,” said Phelps, who paused for a few seconds to compose himself. “How do you muster the strength to tell a 17-year-old young man to get to the hospital immediately to be with his mom?”

Teammates and the coaching staff huddled and said goodbye to Justin. Their prayers accompanied him.

Phelps’ wife, Mary Jo, drove Justin to The Hospital of Central Connecticut in New Britain.

Justin hurried in. His mother, Rosa, was gravely ill with cancer.

“She had a peacefulness when she realized Justin was there,” said Jose, Justin’s dad. “Then in a few minutes she took off her oxygen mask and asked, ‘Where’s Ryan? Where’s Ryan?’ ”

Ryan, Justin’s older brother, was attending a class at Western Connecticut State University in Danbury.

“He had shut his cellphone off because he was in class, so I couldn’t reach him,” Jose said. “I called his girlfriend Ashley [Dickinson] and told her she had to find Ryan.”

An emotional Dickinson had forgotten where Ryan’s classroom was. So she knocked on many classroom doors before she located him.

Ryan raced to be at his mother’s bedside.

“Ryan got there, and five to ten minutes later she passed,” Jose said. “She had waited until her boys were there.”

Rosa was 48.

The grief of the family and of the St. Paul community has been mollified by a celebration of her life and spirit.

“My football coach, Jude Kelly, told us how to handle adversity,” said Justin, who caught a state-record 72 passes and was on the All-Courant offensive team last season. “When bad stuff happens, you can stay on the ground and cry about it or get up and act like nothing happened.

“My mom died, so how will I handle it? Will I just sit home, be sad, go on the streets, do drugs and drink? I am grieving. But I’m trying to be positive in the situation: Do what’s right and make her proud.”

Ryan, who graduated from St. Paul in 2008 and was its last 1,000-point scorer, nodded and wiped away some tears in the family’s living room. “I couldn’t have said it any better,” he said. “That’s what we’re all doing.”

Before the basketball season, St. Paul dedicated its season to Rosa.

“The courage she had shown over the years, the support for St. Paul and her involvement in cancer runs and research, made it the right decision,” said Phelps, whose wife sewed a patch with Rosa’s name inscribed in pink letters above the heart on each player’s uniform.

Rosa, sitting in a chair in the opposite corner from the St. Paul bench, was a fixture in the Falcons’ home gym to watch Ryan and Justin play over the years. Jose said Rosa, who had a full mastectomy in 1998, sat there to limit her exposure to too many people and possible germs, especially if her white blood count was low.

“Before the Holy Cross game [Jan. 27], she had vomited,” Jose said. “She was determined to go, though. She vomited again at the game, but would not leave.”

Justin, a senior forward who averages 17.6 points and 9.7 rebounds, scored 28 in that game. After the Falcons had won 60-42, he went over and hugged his mother.

“She was weak and her voice was slurred some,” Jose said. “I think she knew that was the last game she’d see. There was no way she wasn’t going to be there.”

This Mom Had Fight

Rosa was an avid participant in events to benefit cancer research and awareness. She took part in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in Hartford and the Race In The Park in New Britain. She made and handed out about 400 pink ribbons to honor cancer survivors at the Hartford race in 2010.

And in her final Race In The Park last May, she traveled a memorable road.

“We had all signed up, and in the race there’s a spot where you can continue the short, 1-mile walk or detour to the long, 5K one,” Jose said. “Well, she goes for the long race. We all said, ‘What are you doing?’

“It almost killed her. She had to be helped to make the last steps across the finish line by her friends Linda Campochiaro and Deb Dodenhoff. But Rosa finished. Her motto was ‘Finish what you start.’”

Justin did not want to miss St. Paul’s next game after his mother’s death. The game was scheduled to be at home Feb. 7 against Wolcott. Phelps was thankful to Wolcott for agreeing to postpone the game until Feb. 8 to give Justin and others another day to grieve.

When Justin and his teammates came out for warmups against Wolcott, they wore pink practice shirts. On the right sleeve was the No. 10, Justin’s uniform number; on the left sleeve was No. 33, Ryan’s old St. Paul number. A circle above the heart had the initials R.G. Around it read, “Forever In Our Hearts, Rosa.”

“The student body had ordered more than 200 shirts, and sold them all,” Phelps said. “The proceeds went to cancer research.”

St. Paul (16-5 ), which will play St. Bernard on Monday in the first round of the Class S tournament, will continue to wear its pink practice shirts the rest of this season.

Ryan has a volunteer team that will run in his mother’s honor in the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life March 30 at Western Connecticut’s O’Neill Center.

Jose, who works for the Social Security Administration in Torrington, is coordinating a Daffodil Day at work to support the American Cancer Society. The Torrington and Waterbury Social Security offices are having “Donations For Rosa” on Fridays. Proceeds go to Connecticut Breast Health Initiative.

The Gonzalez family, many friends and supporters will participate again in the Race In The Park May 12 at Walnut Hill Park in New Britain.

“I had a dream where Rosa worked in a flower shop, and all of a sudden I couldn’t find her,” Jose said. “I started yelling ‘Rosa, where are you?’ And then she says, ‘I’m right here. Stop looking for me. I’m right next to you.’”

Hearing his dad’s words, Justin took off his glasses and dabbed his eyes.

“Before each game, I look at my uniform and the patch above my heart,” he said.

Ryan said his brother has had some solid games recently. They included 17 points, 10 rebounds, 6 steals and 6 assists in a 71-44 win against Wolcott; 22 points, 11 rebounds and 6 steals in a 59-52 victory over Watertown; and 22 points and 10 rebounds in a 78-56 loss to Holy Cross.

“Some of those shots looked like they weren’t going in, but they did,” Ryan said.

Justin smiled and said “Mom had a hand up there and helped them home. She’s right next to me.”

Those looking to support cancer research and to honor Rosa Gonzalez can visit Ctbhi.org.